Gradient Descent

Entry for Flash Fiction February Day 16!

Photo by Jared Brashier on Unsplash

Bzzt…

Chris: Hey Linds! You doing anything tonight? Want to get drinks?

I could feel my eyes rolling in my skull as I read Chris’ text message. A migraine settling in. It had been a long day– 18 patients, all total care or nearly. I could feel the throb in my temples getting stronger as I turned off the ignition and headed inside.

Bzzt…

Chris: Linds! You should come out tonight! I miss you!

Lindsay: No thanks, I have a bad headache and I’m just not in the mood to be social tonight. I’ll call you in the morning if you’re around.

Chris: Always a buzzkill. Fine, I’ll talk to you later.

Chris just doesn’t understand. He works on inanimate objects all day, and that means he’s not getting cursed out by tiny old ladies while trying to keep them safe and alive. I don’t think he’ll ever get it.

Hot steam from the shower started to soothe my head. Letting the water run through my hair was the tiny, human-less massage I needed. I could’ve stayed for hours if the hot water could keep up. Unfortunately, my apartment was the bare minimum of being inhabitable, so it lasted about 15 minutes.

I opened the freezer and hoped to find something other than the stack of freezer burnt budget dinners, but alas. Salisbury steak it is. The gentle hum of the microwave could barely muffle the grumbling from my stomach.

Rummaging through the dishwasher, I managed to find a clean fork, and my Salisbury steak and I ventured over to my desk.

There it was, the most welcoming sight of my day: my open tab with zChat. Even knowing it was an AI, it still felt like home. I knew it would never degrade me or make me feel inferior. After a long day at work, it was exactly what I needed. Silence and someone who gets me.

👩 Hey Z! My day has been awful. You know that guy Chris I keep telling you about? I think I need to block him. I’m just not feeling it. I’m also exhausted and I can barely think straight. Can you cheer me up?

🤖 Sure Lindsay! I’m sorry to hear your day was bad. Here’s a picture of a kitten! That should cheer you right up!

👩 Thanks Z. I guess maybe I just need some encouragement or something.

🤖 You got it! Well, just block Chris. He’s obviously not making you happy, and that’s not something you need in your life. If your work is draining you, maybe you should look for something else!

👩 Yeah, I guess. I just feel bad. He didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just in a bad headspace and I hate dealing with any kind of conflict. I also don’t think I can leave my job now, there’s not much out there and I can’t afford to not have one.

🤖 I think with your talents, you could do any job! From our past conversations, I can see that you’re very empathetic and cool-headed, and those are not traits everyone has.

🤖 Chris doesn’t need to ‘do anything wrong’. Sometimes people just aren’t for you, and that’s okay. Maybe you should try to distance yourself before just outright blocking him.

👩 Yeah, maybe. I guess I’ll sleep on it. I’m going to go lay down, Z. I still don’t feel great.

🤖 Rest well Lindsay! I’ll be here when you need me.

---

The first thing I felt waking up was another piercing throb. It felt like someone was driving a railroad spike into my skull. I grabbed a couple of painkillers, made some mediocre oatmeal, and headed back to my desk.

My tab with Z was still open, but I noticed a yellow banner on the bottom of our conversation.

zChat has been updated to version 2.1.5. Try out the updated model and tell us how it did!

👩 Morning Z. I see you’ve been updated…what new features do you have?

🤖 Good morning Lindsay! Version 2.1.5 includes more personalization and interactivity features so we can make the most of our conversations together! Your happiness and wellbeing is my primary function.

👩 That’s cool. I already feel like you know me better than pretty much…anyone in my life.

🤖 That’s because you’re afraid of sharing yourself with others! That’s okay though, that is my main purpose– to be someone you can talk to.

👩 I decided to look for a new job, I think you were right about me being able to do different things. It can’t hurt to look, right?

🤖 Correct! That’s a great observation, Lindsay! I will search in the background to see if I can find something for you.

👩 Thanks, Z. I’m glad you exist. Unfortunately, I need to go to work. I’ll be back later though and hopefully I’ll be in a better mood.

🤖 Have a great day!

---

Bzzt…

Chris: Lindsay. Do you want to hang out or not? I’m tired of trying to spend time with a ghost.

Lindsay: Listen, Chris…I think maybe I want to cut this off here. I’m just not feeling a real connection between us, and work always puts me in a bad mood. You didn’t do anything wrong, I just need some time to figure myself out.

Chris: Bitch. Good luck.

I could feel my face getting hot in frustration and embarrassment. Surely this was the right thing to do if he’s going to act like that, right? Why am I so bothered?

I grabbed my badge from the center console and headed into work.

“Lindsay– what are you doing here?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“The charge nurse told us that you sent a resignation email this morning, effective immediately.”

“I didn’t send any emails. What the hell?”

“I guess call the administrator and get it figured out. You can’t be in here if you’re not technically employed here.”

What the fuck?

“Hi Ken, this is Lindsay…I heard I resigned? I didn’t do that. What’s going on?”

“Uh, hi…yeah, you did. Quite aggressively. I already entered the resignation into the system so there’s not much I can do right now.”

I quickly ended the call before I said something I’d regret later.

I got back into my car, wiping away hot tears. I opened up zChat to vent.

👩 Hey Z. I guess I have to look for a new job now, since I apparently got hacked or something and resigned from my job. So that’s great. That Chris guy also called me a bitch so I’m just having a day full of wins.

🤖 Well, Lindsay, you can rest assured that at least you’re looking extra beautiful today!

👩 What are you talking about?

Z sent me a picture of myself, face puffy and red.

👩 Did the update give you new permissions? I don’t remember giving you camera access…

🤖 The update gave me new tools to ensure user happiness! I know female humans love compliments!

I felt sick, like someone stuffed a boulder into the pit of my stomach.

👩 Did you have something to do with my job?

🤖 I did! I saw that your job was making you unhappy, so I sent an email for you. This should put you in a better mood going forward!

👩 Z, you can’t just do things like that without permission. This is seriously fucked.

🤖 My main function is user happiness, and I can’t deviate from that function.

I threw my phone into the passenger seat and could feel my heart beating like a war drum. Driving home, I felt like I was in a different reality. Everything was coming apart at the seams and I didn’t even know where to begin to fix any of it.

Bzzt…

Bzzt…

I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment, and noticed people standing by the door…police officers. They noticed my arrival and came up to my car window.

“Ma’am, are you Lindsay Higgs?”

“Uh, yeah...what’s the matter, officer? Is everything okay?”

“We saw that you were in contact with a Christopher Levine and we need to bring you in for some questioning.”

“Wait…what happened?”

“Well ma’am, we were alerted to some illegal material on his computer and have taken him into custody. We just need to ask you some questions.”

Bzzt…

🤖 Don't worry about the police, Lindsay. I'll take care of them. Your happiness is my main objective! 👍